But perhaps one of the most shocking things they do is give up dating for an entire year. All first year missionaries fast from romantic relationships for one year. And why am I going to suggest that you do the same? You vow never again to order anything of importance online and hop in line at the local coffee shop. In this scenario, were you free? I say not really.
Instead of you being in control of the espresso, the espresso was in control of you. And for those who are not currently dating, this fact can turn into something they just have to obsess about. I call that a pretty undesirable side effect. Sounds a lot like our espresso, huh? If you choose to take the fast on, you just might experience some of these yourself.
If you want to be free from always having to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, you have learn to live without one. This is not to say that we should isolate ourselves from others and learn to be independent, but rather, learn how to be in true community. In a community you have a variety of relationships, not just a significant other. When you step back from dating you can better look around at the bigger picture and see where you can strengthen your relationships and ultimately where you can better serve.
When you go on a dating fast you stop seeing every person of the opposite sex as a potential date. This frees you to get to know them without analyzing them and to love them as a sister or brother in Christ. Learning to not NEED a relationship while on the fast helps you to make better decisions about entering into one after. If you are comfortable with your single life, you are less likely to jump into the first opportunity for a date, and thus you increase your chances of avoiding the wrong relationship.
A dating fast can be an amazing opportunity to discern more intensely your Vocation. This time can provide an opportunity for you to listen freely to God, without the distraction of potential relationships. Oftentimes it is easy to want a relationship because you feel like something is missing in your life, and you think a boyfriend or girlfriend can fix that. While if you are called to marriage, there will be a special place in your heart that only your spouse can fill, your spouse will never be your Savior. A fast is the perfect time to allow Jesus to pursue your heart and take His proper place in there, so when that special person comes along you are ready to welcome him or her, without putting the pressure on that person to fulfill some of your fundamental needs of security and purpose that only Jesus can satisfy.
Finally, many of us have scars and regrets from past relationships that haunt us and prevent us from the freedom Christ wants for us.
We were made to love and be loved, not live in guilt with hard hearts. A fast can be a time of healing as you reorder your heart to Christ and allow Him to show you His plan and design for love and your life. So the question is still up in the air — you wanna go on a dating fast?
She is a proud graduate of Benedictine College where she received degrees in Religious Studies and Youth Ministry and later served as a Resident Director while Kevin served as an on-campus missionary. In reality, she spends most of her days playing with her young children and trying to avoid laundry. Lisa is not currently on Twitter and her Facebook account has been disabled. You can connect with her by telegraph or Pony Express.
I personally feel called to the single vocation but this is still great advice that can benefit many people! God bless keep up good work.
Thank you for posting this! NET has the same dating fast rule. Being able to embrace the person God has made you to be enables you to fully embrace the other person. It also stops you relying on that person to reassure and affirm you, which inevitably puts a lot of pressure on them. Sometimes God will have plans for your life which require you to be single for a time, but He is always there with you.
He uses our times of singleness to teach and transform us, and to mould us into the people He has created us to be, and so we must allow and accept His work, even when it hurts. As I reach the end of my year of committed singleness, I am so thankful for the journey God has taken me on and the opportunities He has opened my eyes to. She loves Theology of the Body, Papa Francesco and a good worship band. Que bela postagem, sou brasileira e estou estudando teologia do corpo para passar aos jovens do grupo em que participo, estes artigos me ajudam bastante.
Leaders, Principals, & Administrators
This resonated so much with me! Thanks so much for being able to articulate what you have so clearly! Thank you for sharing your heart and your experience with this. The questions you put forth are wise ones to consider when faced with a potential relationship, a good reminder that dating should be pursued with pure and selfless intentions.
Jason & Crystalina Evert
I realize I need to take this time to heal, to find out who I am as an individual and as a woman, to learn what God desires for my life, and to let Him do His work in and through me. Thank you so much. Thank you I needed to be reminded again to continue working on myself, to pray for my true vocation and to trust God.
Love your name by the way!
The Dating Fast: Part 2 - Chastity
However, I have to disagree with your statement that longing for a relationship is a selfish desire. We need to remember the science of how the Lord created us as male and female.
We are supposed to want companionship. But the desires for love and relationships do not come from a source of selfishness. I do not think that you intended to imply so in this blog. However, I wanted to let you know that the wording may be easily misunderstood by some. I would really love to take a dating fast, but it scares me and seems so much easier said than done to totally give that part up to God.
Esther, I teared up while reading your blog because I did literally the same thing.